ST. PAUL INLINE MARATHON 2005
THE FUZI REPORTę«:
Flew in to St P with Scarlett and James about 1pm. Not much excitement on
the plane other than an elderly lady laying on the floor possibly having a
heart attack and maybe an emergency landing. But all is well.
you could get for your hamster? That's how the St
P airport is like. You get off the plain, walk along way, go down several
escalators to the baggage, walk further, get in a train tube, get out of
the tube, walk further to a dead end, then take elevators up a few levels.
I kept looking for a giant wheel and a water battle hanging from the wall.
Had an hour and a half to kill till Duane came in, so lets get the rental
and drove around aimlessly. Took 2 or 3 tries looping thru the rental area
before we figured out how to get out. [ok forget the Habit-trail, this was
a maze and we were the rats looking for the cheese].
So then "let's see where this road goes...hmm...Minneapolis. Crap. Look at
all the traffic going the other way, maybe we ought to turn around".
We turned around.
"let's see where this road goes. Oo. A Russian 'store'".
Lots of tea sets, fish parts, Cyrillic writing and weird pastries. I got a
chicken gyro. [note: don't expect much from a gyro that comes out of a
Tupperware container] and a mariachi egg. James was working his mojo on the
lil counter girl w/ his fluent Russian.
So back to the airport for a few more laps.
Spent 10 minutes in the 'short
term parking' then tried to get out of paying for it saying "oops. We took
the wrong turn". Finally pull up for Duane. James leaves me and Scarlet in
the back of the car as he goes searching for Duane in the airport...right
next to the sign "no parking, no standing".
Right when the irate cop
starts yelling, Duane and James show up and head one more time to the
rental place for Duane to sign stuff. Again leaving me and Scarlett in the
back. This time our story was gonna be, if asked, "oh we're just testing
out the space in the back seat. Go away!!"
Now that we mastered the rental car
maze, they took me to the hotel.
I went to a park near by w/ some really big bronze Peanuts characters.
Snoopy & Charlie brown, Linus & Sally, Schroeder & Lucy. Got a dinner call
and head to Figlio's for the first of many carbo loading. Yummy Italian
food. James again working his mojo on the waitress wearing his ka-NAY-da
The feta bread was good, but we all agreed the Moose Drool was much
better than Sweaty Betty.
Driving back saw some really nice $1m houses. And on the corner a blinkie
sign "Greek Fest". Our carbo destination for Saturday lunch. Yea baby!!
Then back to the hotel. Christine came in later. Caught me all misty eyed
ready Harry Potter #6. I blamed it on the Moose Drool. [That was some mighty fine beer.]
Now I've been accused of being a little high maintenance on trips. Having too much luggage.
Compared to some other people's luggage, who will remain unnamed....CHRISTINE! But I like to travel in
style. Hence the groovie jammies!! [...I'll meet you on the Dark Side of the mooooooon.....]
In search of breakfast. Head to the front desk.
"what's good around here for breakfast?"
"well sir, there's the Carousel Restaurant on the 22nd floor..."
"um...what else you got...."
"well...SIR...there's Mickey's Diner up the road".
On the way out ran into Charlie Brown. You'd think he'd be one of those really snooty celebrities, but he's really a nice guy. Offered me a cup of coffee.
Christine grabbed some chocolate. You know how they say a sucker is born every minute? Well it's true. And it's kinda cool when it matches your shirt!!
Mickey's was a greasy spoon w/ only stools at the bar and packed. So went
to Dun Bro's. a cross between Einstein Bros Bagels and Starbux. I give it
Then back to the bronze park. This time for picture taking. [left my camera
at home!! Erg!! ]
We hung out Linus & Sally.
Schroeder was giving a personal concert.
Lucy seemed to enjoy it. As well as
Christine. OK, so did I .
Then we saw a boy and his dog. What a good doggie!
Charlie Brown is SUCH a lady's man.
Christine and Marcy readying Harry Potter #6.
I played some football with Peppermint Patty.
We meandered a bit till got the call from Duane. Off to the
Greek Fest!!! Lots of good stuff...gyros, spanikopita, baklava! Yea baby!!
After that we all geared up for some skating. I mean you can't pass up a sunny day
of 70 degrees and not skate!! Drove a bit and skated around a lake. Up
there they do it right!! A separate trail for bikes and skaters! And you
only go in one direction so you don't have to worry about "bike up" "skater
up" "clueless jogger up". ;) 2 nice laps around the lake. We were the only
one with helmets and paceline-ing. The folks seemed to like us. We people
watched and accosted the occasional puppy dog. Then napped. And then of
course more food (after all these trips are more about where to eat than
where to skate!)
So we went to an Italian place. Lots of Deano and Sinatra pix and Tommy
guns on the wall. So we had Duane, Steve (Duane's cousin who was hosting
the TX Flyer's Luv Shack), Scarlett, James, Young Phil, Christine, Dennis
and yours truly. The pasta was REALLY good, but I'm thinking now, after
the fact and a few Advil, lots of red wine before a marathon isn't the
I'm sure we did something after. Who knows. I was sleepy.
5:30AM IS JUST TO @*#$&@#$ EARLY TO GET UP WHEN ON VACATION! That's all I
gotta say. Esp when you're awakened rudely in the night getting your bed
kicked and someone muttering "snoring!!"
Anyhoo, chowed on some bagels and nanners and peanut butter and made our
way down to the start. Maybe a 1 to 2 mile walk, is a good stretch of the
legs. Spotted the Flyers. Brenda and Tanya were there. And Mary M joined
us. Lots of Red & Yellow TX Flyers jerseys! I wore my Pegasus, honest! The
fast folk started first. Which gave a 30 min lag until us slow pokes went.
This gave the speedsters a chance to blaze thru with out having to worry
about coming up on slower folk. Pretty good idea.
The rest of us were in waves. I was in lucky wave 13. They said by 10:15 if
you hadn't made it to mile marker 20 you have to get off the road and take
the side walk to finish.
So I had 3 goals:
- 1 - finish
- 2 - don't' be last
- 3 - don't be on the side walk frantically pushing each light button
muttering "I'm loosin time!! I'm loosing time!!" ;)
The fitness and rec group got spread out pretty quickly. Saw some "fairly
mature" skaters (AARP card carriers I'm sure) and some younguns. Even a roller
derby team came out on quads. Chatted with Sinderella and Trophy Wife for a
lil bit. A majority of the route was flat, but at either end were some good
hills. Which weren't too bad, thanks Margaret!! But it did spread the group
out even more. There were a few miles of bone rattling-filling
loosening-rough stuff, but usually on a hill so it was short lived. Then
back to the smooth flat. That part rocked!!
It was two laps, then peal left to the finish into the city.
I was starting to feel the effects of downing a few water bottles and a
camelback around mile 20. But something was WAAAAAAAAAY wrong!!!!! I was
looking at my watch. What?!?!? I could finish this in 2 hrs 15 min?
so every port-o-potty I passed said "come on in".
Then the final push into town. Holy crap!! Even Margaret was no help!!
Now that's just mean, finishing on a hill like that. It's hard
to look cool when you're arms are flailing, legs kicking out sideways and
grunting. I'm hoping ESPN was filming something else by then.
So final time, 2 hours 14minutes. Shaved 20 mins off my best time. Woo dee
hoo! Maybe lots of red wine IS the way to go!
All the other flyers were done by then of course ;) munching on chips and
grapes and nut bars and such. I slumped my cramp riddled carcass in a chair
and watched the awards.
Later we went to a Mexican restaurant where the chronically stunned worked. Took an
hour to get the food. Even James' mojo-ing w/ the waitress didn't help.
But we had no where to go, so there ya go. I had some "steak"...I think I
could see where the jockey was hitting it w/ the riding crop. Dennis and
Duane seemed to enjoy the margaritas.
Packed up and headed to the airport with Christine. We preambled around the
concourse in search for some Snoopy junk, but none to be found. Tried to
get a pic in font of "Famous Dave's BBQ", but Dave was replaced with a
McD's. So we took a WTF pic instead.
James, Scarlett, Dennis and Phil
caught up with us at the airport. The flight back was uneventful except
for the turbulence that seemed to be isolated to my chair. I'm sure
Christine sitting behind me had nothing to do with it.
So what we learned:
- James still thinks I'm his bioch when clearly it was Christine's turn. [Sundays I get to myself]
- Scarlet wants to get in the fuzi-bioch-for-a-day action now.
- Phil rearranges his schedule so he can floss for 3 hours on Monday and Wednesday.
- Duane is much more mellow looping thru the airport after a few 'rita's.
- Dennis isn't the only one that can moon from a moving car (let's just leave it at that)
- Christine got misty readying Harry Potter 6 and think we are all insensitive male jerks
- And I learned NEVER leave your cell phone behind where others can get to it. @$*@#$ ka-NAY-dans
And on a sad note. I was gonna post the route to prove you can drive 20 miles around the St. Paul airport and never actually LEAVE
the airport. BUT...I didn't make it home with my GPS. So some lucky skater probably found a nice Garmin e-trex.
AND IF I EVER RUN INTO THEM.......