Fuzi Report: Napa Valley Marathon
June 18, 2006

Saturday June 17:

Got up at the butt crack of dawn to catch a 8am flight. Drove to Wally-Park, a great $5 park & fly place. Turns out WP is shut down. So I use the joint across the street. After the van guy circles the lot 5 times (to maximize his tip potential I guess) we head on to the terminal and met Scarlett at the gate. Duane & Shelley are on a different flight, but at the same time.

THE FLIGHT
As soon as I sit down I hear this high pitched whining (quiet Christine ). An hour into the flight, I finally ask the stewardess, "do you hear a whine?". "Honey, I've been flying for 30 years, I can't hear anything!".
Well that's nice to know. So I ask the idiot stewardess dude. "Oh yea I hear it... nothing I can do... etc". 5 minutes later, he's on the Pa system, when he's done talking, the whine is gone. WTF! Was simple feedback on the freakin PA system.

Anyways, idiot stewardess dude comes back, "so what's with the Red & Yellow jackets?" Scarlett: "We're in a inline skate team, going to a marathon in Napa". Looking at me "you move too?!?". WTF! "um.. yea. good thing you're not working for tips!"

We land and meet up with Duane & Shelley. Hoofed it to the rental car area and hunted for lunch. Pretty hilly place.

Muggin for the camera.
And someone’s really into ducks "Hooked On Quack".
So we eat lunch at an Irish pub,
and watched a soccer game; US vs. Italy.
Imagine that, the Irish inventing a name called Hurling. Rules are pretty easy: drink as much Guinness as you can, in as short a time period as possible. Not sure what the sticks are for tho. :)
This was the usual view of Shelley during the trip.
Gas was a little pricey.
And on a corner was this TINY "park". Wouldn't actually call it a park. It was all concrete and maybe 20 x 20 feet. ;)
Some locals: Yes you CAN fit 5 people in a Mini Cooper vert

And no matter how much you hate your job, at least you're not a lobster pimp.

GOLDEN GATE
Headed north and crossed the Golden Gate bridge. Pretty good view of the city from there.


PETRIFIED FOREST
Then on to the Petrified Forest· Here millions and millions of years ago, a volcanic blast buried some redwoods under mounds of ash, which are now petrified.

There's a big plaque where Robert Lewis Stevenson met the finder of the trees "Petrified Charlie" in 1870.
Later Stevenson mentions the petrified forest in one of his books "Silverado Squatters". And it's been a tourist trap ever since.
A scorpion in a spider's web. I don’t think I went to meet the spider that was able to take out this scorpion.

Then onto the Best Western, also know as the Hotel of the Pissing Bear. Checked in and me and Scarlett got our own rental car, once we ditch Duane & Shelley. Then on to the Napa Valley fairgrounds for the packet pick up. Which turned out to just be a pickup... truck that is.



After that, carbo-loaded with some beer, pasta, beer, pizza and beer at Mary's Pizza. (Which is really sad, that at this point, being in wine country we have YET to have any wine.)

We then hit the FoodMAXX, where the chronically stunned work. If you're in a hurry, don't go to FoodMAXX. We loaded up on bananas, peanut butter, oj and other breakfast fixin's. Then on to Big 5, looking for spacers and wheels for Scarlett. I decided to get a jacket, who knew the lows were in the 50s out there IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER!!??

Then back to hotel and crashed.
Sunday June 18:
Got up at 4:30am (which is really 6:30am Fuzi Standard Time). Me, Scarlett and Duane & Shelley pack up and head to Napa.

THE RACE
If I had one word to describe the Napa marathon it'd have to be "thigh-burning-back-aching-up-and-faster-than-snot-down-HILLS". Oh mama!! Those were some bad @$$ hills. You're cussing going up and up and up... and just when you think you're at the top, there's a bank to the left, and it goes up and up and up. Then when you can't feel your legs, you hit the crest then fly down the other side. I give it 4 out of 5 on a Butt Clencher Scale ©®. I hit 27mph. I know the faster group was well above that. Oh mama!!



For the 1st half (3+ miles), the roads were black ice, smooth with a capital "smoo". The 2nd half (also 3+ miles) was pretty rough in spots but not terrible. But going up a steep grade, then banking on an angle right or left, THAT'LL kick your hiney. You then come to the hair pin turn. So the route is one lap for the 1/2 marathon, or two laps for the full marathon.



So all those hills you hit, you get to hit again in reverse order. Had I known there was no one jotting down bib numbers, I would have hopped the median at some point and gotten a better time! :)

I had to stop a 2 times just to get feeling in my feet again. Which must be the ONLY reason I was lapped by the pro pack. ;)

Shelley and Scarlett finished the 1/2 marathon before I did. And I came in not too far behind Duane as he finished the full marathon. (I guess I should mention I only did the 1/2 marathon ).

After that went to the Napa campgrounds for burgers and dogs and awards. Took about an hour to go through all the awards. Part of the problem, the times were recorded on a yellow pad by someone at the finish line. Next year I suggest TIMING CHIPS!! Shelley and Scarlett each got a medal. So did Christian... another TX Flyer who showed up.

SNOOPY MUSEUM
We decided to hit the Snoopy museum in Santa Rosa while still smelling rather ripe. Lots of high art to see,
like "Starry Dog Night" by Van Gogh-fetch
... the "Mona Lucy" by Da Snoopy.
...and "The Scream"

The World War I flying ace was in his Sopwith Camel.

Lots of other Snoopy stuff to see.
.
Me getting fashion tips from Charlie Brown.
A brief history of Peanuts.


This museum also has an ice rink, but after thinking I’m gonna get all the skating I’ll ever want the next day, I thought best not to.
So back out side to peruse the grounds.
Whoever said you can't buy happiness never shopped at the Warm Puppy Cafe...
after all "happiness is a warm puppy" - C. Brown.

WOODSTOCK
Like St Paul did with Snoopy's and Dallas did with Pegasus'es, this year, Santa Rosa is doing the same thing for Woodstock. The Woodstocks are made of fiberglass and different groups/artists bought one and decorated them up. They're on display all over the city, and later will be auctioned off.

They had a few on display around the Snoopy museum.

In front of the "Disco Ball" Woodstock ,
there's a web cam. Here's some pix of us.
(Scarlett's sign says "Happy Father's Day")
We even made Charlie Brown an honorary skater ;)


After all that, went to a mediocre Mexican joint, who's saving money by not running the A/C. Had tacos and more beer. Then back to the hotel for some sore muscle hottubbing.
Monday June 19:

MORE WOODSTOCKS
Got to sleep in till 7:30am (9:30am Fuzi Standard Time). And tried the Hotel breakfast. I want to know what continent has soggy waffles and cold hard boiled eggs as their "continental breakfast".

Me and Scarlett got out the Woodstock map and went Woodstock hunting.
First stop was "Oh for a horse with wings". Hoping it'd be a Pegasus. Nope. Just a stick horse ;)

We then found the Pasta Woodstock.

And the "Many Friends" Woodstock.


We found the Republicans are pretty tough out here. ;)

But the best Woodstock we found was the "Woodspock" flying the USS SNOOPY.

Piloted by Charlie Brown.

Then there was the "Summer of Luv" Woodstock.

FINALLY SOME WINE TASTING
Finally got a call from Duane & Shelley, they were checking out. So we caught up with them and stopped at the De Loach winery.

We spent an hour "tasting" wine. OK, we spent an hour getting hammered on free wine. we ordered several bottles. And had the really great idea "heck! why not have them shipped to Dallas". Later when reality hit, ok, when the hangover hit, I thought, "I spent how much? and shipped it to Duane’s?!?! I’ll never see that wine again!!"

So after talking to some chickens and a pot-head ,
decided to go to Mom's for lunch. Mom had the BEST rhubarb pie... but I couldn't eat it until I ate all my vegetables.

So off we go to the coast and Mendocino. Highway 101 was shut down as soon as we got on . We saw 2 cops and 2 roadside assistance truck pass on the shoulder. And thought holy crap, some major accident happened. Only thing to do was take pictures of the beer art on the beer truck next to us.

And do crossword puzzles.
Gave a puzzle to Duane & Shelley too ;)
An HOUR later of standing, we FINALLY get moving. What was the problem? Hay!! Bales of freakin hay!! WTF!! These lazy Californians couldn't get out of their car to move some hay off the highway. Heck, we passed a car on fire , and there was no traffic. But boy howdy, if some cow food gets in the road, it's shut EVERYTHING down!!

So back on the road. We cut over west to the coast. Now I've seen windy roads

but to drive 34 miles to actually get 20 miles west, there's something wrong with that. I actually saw this sign .
But we did see more wine country and start going through redwood forests .

SCENIC VIEW
Outside of Albion we stopped at a scenic overlook. Somehow it went from 96 in Napa to 66 degrees on the coast. BURR!


WATERFALL HIKE
We stopped in Mendocino for some bread and cheese for a hike to some 36 foot water fall. Already had some De Loach wine ;) So we hiked... ...and hiked... ...and hiked... ...and saw a REALLY BIG slug... ..and a bunny...
Scarlett's a bit of a tree hugger.

But these trees were HUGE!!

We finally come to this sign...
we opted for the .7 mile stretch.
And finally make it to the water fall.

Duane tries his best to win a Darwin Award. ;)

So we cut the cheese in the woods and sip a lil more wine.

On the way back, we find a hollowed out tree trunk WE ALL can fit in and @&#$@*#$ STINGING NETTLES. THOSE LIL B*STARDS ARE MEAN!!! You just brush up against a small little plant, 5 seconds later, it's like you stuck your whole are in a fire ant hill!! WTF!! I've never cussed so much in such a tranquil scenic forest in my life.

So back on the road, for some more cliff driving
where parts of the road were missing.

Had dinner at the Cliff Café for sea food. Then back 34 windy miles to travel 20 miles east. 2 1/2 hrs to get back to P.B. Hotel. Crashed @12:30 am (2:30am Fuzi Standard Time).
Tuesday June 20:

THE SAN FRAN SCENE
Slept in till 8:00 am (10am Fuzi Standard Time) ;). And iHop-ped instead of the hotel's "breakfast". Duane & Shelley was making their way up the coast and me and Scarlett were heading back home. Stopped at a beach along the way. Long enough to get hypothermia in the Pacific ocean. Then on to San Francisco for some more photo ops at the Golden Gate bridge.

There is a pedestrian walkway on the bridge, but apparently they are skater haters there.

Some cowboy lost his hat looking over the side.
Alcatraz!
A really really really cold Scarlett ;)

We lunched at the crab cake café. I highly recommend the Spork Crab. Then next door to the Ghirardelli Chocolates shop. As you walk in you get a free sample. So a made at least two circuits through! ;) Then drove by the piers Pier 39 is a shopping strip, and no DonnaB there is no Pier 69.

Interesting buildings around San Fran.
We had to stop and talk down a suicidal TV.
It's really saw when you see home appliances have nothing to live for. Then back to the airport and on home.
Additional footage:

me being a butthead to my brother Movie

the windy mountain road Movie